Memories
by Jo Dawn
Summary: Everyone has their own special memories from their childhood. The TMNT is no different. Epilogue up now!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer - I don't own the TMNT. None of them. 

A/N - This takes place in my 'What The Heart Wants' universe, although it doesn't necessarily have to. I just like it there. You don't need to read that story to understand this. I will, by the way, have a new chapter up for 'What The Heart Wants' in the next few days. I have not abandoned it! 

It can also be considered to be in it's own little universe, since this takes place way before that story. I'd say the turtles are eight or nine in this story. I might even add more chapters, more memories, from the other turtles, if people like this chapter. Or maybe even if they don't! Either way, enjoy!

Donatello: Knowledge and Normalcy

"_DON!!_" 

Mike turned to look at Donatello, who was sitting next to him on the couch. His eyes were wide. 

Donatello shrugged. Raphael stomped into the living room, walking up to Don. Donatello looked up at him, and gulped. Raphael was angry. Very angry. 

"How many times do I have to tell you to stay out of my _room_?!" Raph yelled. 

Don looked back to Mike for support. Mike's eyes were still wide, and he opened his mouth, but nothing came out. 

"I… I…" Don stammered. 

"I told you, but you had to go in there, and look what I found." Raph held up a dismantled radio. "You know this was my favorite." 

"But I just wanted to…" Don began softly. 

"I can't hear my station anymore!" Raph shook the radio at Don, parts hanging out and falling to the ground. "See?" 

"Oh, c'mon, Raph, it's no big deal." Mike said. 

"Stay outta this, Mikey." Raph snapped then turned back to Don. "I want my radio back!" 

"It… It would still work if you didn't shake it all over the place like that." Don replied, looking at the falling parts and wincing. 

Wrong answer. Raphael turned red, and moved closer to Don, who backed up on the couch until he couldn't move back anymore. 

"What's wrong with you?" He yelled. "Why can't you just keep your hands off of my stuff?" Don looked down. Mike put an arm around Don in support. Don began to bite his lip. Raphael threw the radio to the couch, where it landed next to Mikey. 

"Why can't you just be normal?" Raph yelled. "Why can't you just watch TV or practice or… do something other than mess with my stuff!" 

Mike looked to see Don's reaction. He said nothing, just stared at the cushion of the couch. Mike knew he was trying not to give Raphael the satisfaction of seeing him upset. 

"Raphael! Donatello!" They all jumped as Splinter came into the room. 

Donatello hit the table with his arm when he jumped, and the lamp teetered, then fell off, breaking into about six pieces on the ground. Mike and Raph looked at Splinter wide-eyed. 

"What is the meaning of this?" Splinter asked, looking at the three boys. 

Raphael pointed furiously towards Donatello. "He ruined my radio!" 

Splinter looked to Donatello. He was sitting on the couch, Mike's arm around him, looking down at the ground. Splinter sighed. 

"Donatello, did you do this." 

Don looked up at him, his eyes shining with tears. "Y- Yes, master… but.. But, I…" 

"He nothin'! He just went into my room and _broke _it!" 

"Raphael." Splinter said, softly yet firmly. It was enough to make the young turtle be quiet. He turned back to Don and Mike. "Michaelangelo. You may leave." 

Mike opened his mouth once, then, thinking better of it, shut it. He drew his arm away from Donatello and, giving his brother a sympathetic smile, slid off the couch and went to find Leo. 

Splinter sighed. "Donatello, did you go into Raphael's room without permission and… dismantle his radio?" 

"Yes, Master Splinter." The young turtle's voice was barely a whisper. 

"Why?" He asked gently. 

"B-Because, I was bored… I already fixed everything in my room, and Leo's. I asked him." Don shot a look at Raphael, who had his arms crossed. "I… I just wanted to fix it." His voice went soft again. 

"But it's _broke_!" 

"But, it's not, Master Splinter." Donatello protested, sitting forward on the couch. "It's not. It works, and better than before." 

"Can you show me?" Splinter watched as Donatello tried to get it to turn on again. He sighed. Donatello, unlike his brothers, had always had more fun taking things apart and putting them back together than just sitting around. And when he was sitting still, he was always off in his own mind, thinking about things. The former had always been a bit of an annoyance for the others, although of all of them, Raphael was the least tolerant. Neither Leonardo or Michaelangelo had much of a problem with having their things fixed. Neither did Raphael usually, but only if Donatello asked him first. 

Splinter looked back at the two young boys. Raphael was watching his brother struggle with an almost superior grin on his face. Donatello, however, was struggling to get the radio to turn on, his eyes blinking back tears. 

"It… It worked before." He whispered. "It did, Master Splinter, it did!" He looked up at Splinter, his eyes shiny with tears. "If Raphael hadn't shaken it…" 

"Oh, so now it's _my _fault, is it?" Raph retorted. Donatello looked back down. 

"Raphael." Splinter said softly. "I would like to speak with Donatello alone. Please go into the other room with your brothers." 

Raphael walked past Donatello, flashing him a triumphant grin as he walked by. Donatello's shoulder's slumped. 

Splinter turned to Donatello with a sigh. He was looking at the couch, playing with a ragged edge of material. 

"Donatello, you know that Raphael does not like his things touched without his permission." He said softly. 

"I'm sorry." Donatello finally whispered. 

"You did nothing to me. It is Raphael that you should be apologizing to. And you will." 

Donatello nodded. He remained silent for a few more moments. 

"I'm sorry I'm not normal." The young turtle finally whispered. 

This took Splinter by surprise. "What do you mean, Donatello?" 

"I'm sorry that I don't like to practice like Leo, or watch TV and play video games like Mikey and Raph." His eyes remained glued to the floor. "I'm sorry I don't like doing normal kid stuff, and get into trouble instead." 

Splinter's eyes softened. "Come and sit with me, my son." He sat on the chair, and Donatello slowly walked up to him, still not looking him in the eye. 

Splinter pulled him up into the chair with him. "Donatello, you are not abnormal. What is normal for, say, Leonardo, is not normal for Michaelangelo. How many times has Michaelangelo gotten up at the crack of dawn to practice?" 

Donatello finally smiled at that. "Never." 

Splinter smiled, also. "Correct." He leaned back in the chair. "And I would not expect him to start doing so. Behavior like that is normal for Leonardo. And sleeping in is normal for Michaelangelo." He put a hand on Donatello's shoulder. "Everyone has a different definition of normal. And no one else can tell you what that is. Only you." He lifted the young turtle's face to look at him. "Do you understand?" 

Donatello nodded. "Yes Master Splinter." He looked back down again. 

"What is the matter now, my son? Are you still troubled?" 

"Am…" Donatello began, as if unsure how, or even if, to ask this question. "Am I gonna get into trouble?" 

Splinter smiled. "Well, I would say if you simply restored Raphael's radio to it's original state…" Donatello opened his mouth, but Splinter continued. "No matter how well it worked before, then I think it would be enough." 

"But the lamp…" Donatello said. 

"I'm sure you would have no problem helping out with that." Splinter winked at him. "Maybe you can restore it to have three settings again." 

Donatello nodded quickly. "Oh, yes Master Splinter." 

Splinter smiled, seeing the brightness come back into Donatello's eyes. 

"Maybe…" Splinter began. "Maybe a trip is in order?" 

Donatello looked at him, confused. 

"Yes." Splinter mused. "I think a trip to the dump would be nice. I'm sure you can find more things there to occupy your time…" 

A grin broke over Donatello's face. "Really, Master Splinter?" 

Splinter nodded. "Go and get your brothers." He smiled. Donatello turned to run off, until Splinter called out to him, stopping the boy in his tracks. 

"Donatello." 

The young turtle turned. "Yes, Master Splinter?" 

"Be sure to apologize to your brother." He said, his eyes crinkling as he smiled. 

"I will." He nodded vigorously. 

"And, Donatello?"

"Yes Master?"

"Everyone has gifts that set them apart from others, that makes them special. Never be afraid to show yours. It is invaluable." 

**********************

To his young mind, his master's last comment didn't mean much at the time. Only that he wasn't in trouble for his mistake. 

Donatello stretched out on his bed. It had been almost eleven years since that conversation, and every year he found more and more meaning from the words. His master… his father was gone now, but his words still lingered with him, every day, making him feel better about whatever he'd done that day that had turned out to be less than he thought it would be. No matter what. 

Donatello yawned, turning onto his side, getting ready to go to sleep. He looked at his nightstand, and smiled, as he did every night; then reached out and turned off his lamp, the one with the cracked and re-glued lines through it. 


	2. Michaelangelo

Disclaimer - I don't own the TMNT or Splinter. 

A/N - Again, they're about eight at this point. 

Michaelangelo: Problems and Pizza 

Michaelangelo crossed his arms, sulking. He lay on his bed, one leg propped up on pillows. He sighed. _I can't believe I'm such a klutz_. 

He groaned as he heard his brothers, laughing and joking, coming from practice. _Fine._ He grumbled silently to himself. _Let them have fun and be happy while I'm laying here, hurt and alone. _

He waited for someone to come into his room, ask him how he was. But no one came. _No one cares about good ol' Mikey. _He thought to himself. _Just the stupid class clown. Had to go and do something stupid again… _

They'd been training, learning a new move and maneuver. Mike had picked it up rather quickly, so while the others were trying to learn it, or perfect it, he'd gotten bored. He tried a few jumps and kicks that he'd seen Master Splinter do, and he'd landed wrong. And twisted his ankle. 

He groaned to himself. They were all supposed to go out on a walk, probably to the dump, maybe above in an alleyway. He'd been excited about it for a week. And now he couldn't go. 

__

Stupid, stupid… He repeated silently, hitting his head on the pillow. His ankle didn't even hurt that bad. They could all go. He lifted his ankle up, but gasped when a sharp pain went through it. 

"Mikey." Don opened the door, walking in. "You know, you really shouldn't move it around, or you'll just hurt it more." 

"I know." Mike sulked. Of course his brother would have to come in at right that second. 

Don smiled. "I just came to see how you were. Oh, and to bring you this, too." He handed Michaelangelo a book. "Just something for you to read, so you're not totally bored in here." 

Mike looked down at the book in his hands. 'Computers and You: A Detailed Guide to Writing Your Own Programs'. He sighed. 

"Donnie, no offense, but I couldn't read this. I can't understand the words that come out of _your _mouth sometimes." 

Donatello's face fell, and Mike instantly felt bad. Donnie was only trying to help. Mike smiled at Don. 

"But thanks, you know, maybe I can learn. Maybe I can write my own computer games!" 

Don's face brightened. "Yeah." He nodded vigorously. "But that's not until the third book of this series. I'll get you that one next. I finished it. The second is more for specific problems you would encounter, but I could help you with those." 

Mike nodded slowly, hoping for a change of subject. 

"So," Don said. "How is your ankle?" 

"I bet I could go." Mike grumbled. "It doesn't hurt _that _bad." 

"It might not," Don leaned in for a closer inspection. "But if you stand on it too soon, you could really damage it, and then you wouldn't be able to train with us anymore." 

Mike snickered, despite himself. "And then what would Leo say?" 

"What would Leo say to what?" Both turtles turned quickly to look at Leonardo, who'd just entered the room. 

"Uh, nothing. Nothing." Mike said quickly, while Don suddenly found Mike's bedspread fascinating. 

Leo shrugged. "OK." 

He sat down on the edge of the bed. 

"Mike, you really shouldn't have been fooling around like that during practice." Leo began, and Mike tensed himself for a speech. Leo'd already become very good at them. "But," Leo continued. "I guess you've already learned that. How is your ankle?" He peered down at Mike's leg. 

"Not bad." 

Leo nodded. "Good. Too bad about the trip, though." He shrugged. "No big deal. We can always go another day." 

Don nodded. 

Mike sighed, finding himself both relieved and angry that they weren't mad at him. He was angry at himself, why couldn't they be mad at him too? Why'd they have to be so understanding? He'd ruined their day, too. _Because they care. _The thought ran through his head, making him regret feeling angry at them. He sighed again. 

"I am sorry, guys." He said softly. 

Both turned to look at him. 

"Mike, it's OK. I kinda wanted to catch up on some stuff anyway." Don said. 

Mike almost laughed at this. Don was forever catching up on things; when he wasn't starting something new. He almost lived in his workshop corner of the lair. 

"Yeah," Leo began. "Stuff happens. We'll just go another week." 

Mike nodded, glad now that his brothers were so understanding. Then he cringed. Raph wouldn't be so understanding. He was probably ticked…

Don took the cringe to mean Mike was in pain, and looked at him in concern. "Mikey, is your ankle still hurting…?"

"Don't tell me he's still faking hurt." They all looked at the door as Raphael walked in. 

"He's not faking Raph." Leo began, but Raph waved him off. 

"Keep your shell on, Leo." He cut him off, and Leo frowned. 

"Well, now that the afternoon's free…" Leo shot Raph another dirty look, which he ignored and continued talking. "Maybe Master Splinter'll just take us three." 

Leo sighed. "Raph, if Mikey can't go, then none of us are." 

Don nodded emphatically. 

"No." Mike shook his head sadly. "It's my own fault and if you guys want to go…" 

"Leonardo is right." They all jumped as their sensei's voice entered the mix. Splinter stood in the doorway, looking at them. "It is more important that Michaelangelo's ankle heals properly. We will be staying home." Raphael groaned at this, but Splinter ignored it, turning instead to the others. "Donatello, I require your assistance." 

Don nodded, then jumped off the bed and followed Splinter back out of the room. 

The others all looked at each other, questioning looks on their faces. 

After a moment, Splinter reappeared, followed by Donatello, pushing the TV cart into the room. "I thought, perhaps," Splinter began. "That instead, we would try out Donatello's latest project." He nodded to Donatello, who walked forward eagerly. 

"I got it to work yesterday! Now we can all test it and see how well it works." 

Mike looked at the cart, with it's old television and… a VCR? 

"A VCR?" Mike looked at Don, who nodded happily. 

"I thought, perhaps, that a quiet afternoon would be a good time to test this out, and keep Michaelangelo company while he rests." Splinter said, then stopped. "Oh, and one more thing…" He left the room, reappearing a moment later, holding a few boxes in his hands. "What is a movie without the snacks." He smiled at his sons, who gasped happily. 

"Pizza?" Mike looked at Splinter, who nodded, smiling softly. 

"I hope I ordered correctly." Splinter said. "There were so many choices." 

Mike looked at his sensei, as they all settled themselves around the room. He knew Splinter had never called for pizza before; that he didn't even really like it. But he'd gotten it for him, after he'd messed up during practice, and ruined their outing. 

Splinter caught his son's eyes, and, taking a small bite of the pizza, winked at him. "Not bad." He said, and Michaelangelo grinned. He looked down at his own piece, noticing the different combinations of toppings. He brought the piece to his mouth and took a bite. It was the best pizza he'd ever eaten. 

**********************************

Michaelangelo walked back home, carrying their supper for the night. He often thought about that night, all these years later, but especially when it was his turn to get supper. His brothers didn't understand sometimes why he loved pizza so much, why he enjoyed everything about it. It was just food for them. But every time he smelled the cheese and sauce, every time he looked down at the toppings, he was reminded that, years ago, an understanding father got his son a treat to make him feel better. No matter that it was the boy's own fault he felt terrible. It didn't matter that Splinter hadn't liked the pizza. That Splinter had never called for it before, and the toppings were odd and mismatched. None of that mattered. 

It might have seemed trivial to the others, that night. It was just a pizza. But as young Michaelangelo watched his sensei eat the pizza and watch the movie, laughing although he didn't share their own sense of humor, he knew how much Splinter really cared. He always knew he had, but his young mind hadn't ever really comprehended it. It was the sacrifice. Mike still sometimes smiled at that thought. As if eating pizza was such a huge sacrifice. It didn't seem like it now, but to an eight year old who'd spent the day feeling sorry for himself… it was huge. 

His brothers might not understand it. Sometimes he, himself, didn't. _It was just a pizza_. The thought would sometimes break into his thoughts, and he'd shake his head. It wasn't. Not to him. And it meant more now, than ever before. It wasn't just a pizza. Because every time he breathed in that first whiff upon opening the box, he thought of him. Every time he took a bite, he could see his father, so understanding that day, looking over to him and winking. And, a lot of the times, he'd wink back. 


	3. Leonardo

Disclaimer - I don't own them. 

A/N - Like the other stories, they're around eight. 

Leonardo - Lessons and Leadership

Leonardo stood in a line with his brothers, while their sensei paced in front of them. His hands were sweating and his heart raced. At the last practice, they had begun taking turns being in charge during practices. While Don and Mike's turns went OK, both Leo and Raph had excelled. Both loved the feeling, the exhilaration, of being in charge, being a leader. 

Now, Master Splinter would name one of them the leader for today's practice. Leo could hardly wait for his master's decision. He was both excited and terrified that he would be chosen. 

Suddenly, Splinter stopped his pacing and took a step forward. 

"Leonardo…" Leo stepped forward, his heart beating wildly, and looked up at his master. 

"Yes, Master Splinter?" He asked, butterflies filling his stomach. 

"I would like you to lead in today's exercise." Splinter bowed to him. 

"Yes, Master Splinter." Leonardo replied, keeping his voice calm, and bowing back. 

He dared a glance at Raphael, who looked at the ground. Leo took a deep breath, then walked over to his brothers. 

"OK, guys." He began, looking at them. "Let's try the same procedure from the last practice." 

Practice went well enough for awhile. They took a break to get a drink and sit down for awhile. 

"Leonardo." Splinter called to him from his place across the room. 

"Yes, Master Splinter?" Leonardo walked up to his master, feeling suddenly nervous. What if he'd been doing a bad job? 

"You are doing well, my son. I am going to be in my room, meditating, for the remainder of the practice." Splinter said. "Come get me, if the need arises." 

Leo nodded. "Yes, Master Splinter." He said, barely containing the grin that fought to appear on his face. Master Splinter was leaving _him_ in charge! 

Splinter nodded again, then clapped his hands together, getting the other's attention. 

"You will all continue to practice for another hour. Leonardo will direct you in your practice." 

Leo could see Don and Mike nodding. Raphael scowled, crossing his arms. Then Splinter was gone, and Leo turned to the rest of them. 

"OK, guys, we have an hour left, so I think that we should…" He trailed off when he saw Raphael walk to the side of the room and sit on the floor. 

Mike and Don glanced at each other. Leo walked over to Raph. 

Raphael didn't even look up when Leo approached him. 

"What are you doing?" Leo asked, his hands on his hips. 

"I'm resting." Raph said simply. 

"But Master Splinter said…" 

"Well, Master Splinter's not here now, is he? So I'm resting." 

"Well…" Leo stammered. "Well, Master Splinter left me in charge." 

"And I don't haveta listen to you. You're not my boss." Raphael crossed his arms. 

"But Master Splinter…" 

"Master Splinter shoulda picked me." Raphael stood up, glaring at Leonardo. "You stink. This practice stinks. I wanna…"

"It doesn't matter what you want to do." Leo said, feeling his face grow hot. "It's what I want to…"

"Guys! Guys…" Michaelangelo ran forward, and stood in-between the two boys. They both looked at him, and he grinned. 

"Me and Donnie…" 

"Donnie and _I_." Don corrected from across the room. 

"Fine, fine." Mike grumbled, but smiled. "Anyway, Donnie and _I _think we should just keep doing the same things we've been doing, and if we learn them real good, maybe Master Splinter will take us up top again, like the last time we learned something really fast." He looked between his two brothers. "Uh, maybe?" He added. 

"Either way." Don said, walking up to them. "It would surprise him a whole lot if we were really good at this, since he just taught us this move not too long ago." 

Raph frowned, but agreed. "All right." He grumbled. 

Leo was sure that the look of relief on Don's face mirrored his own. His brothers headed back onto the mats, and Leo followed a moment later. But his excitement from before was gone. He couldn't even run a practice. What kind of leader was he? He bit his lip, trying to hide his feelings. 

The rest of the practice went smoothly, but quietly. And after it was over, Leonardo headed over to Splinter's room. His shoulders drooped, and he held back tears at the thought of how disappointed his master would be with his failure. Finally, biting his lip, he knocked on the door. 

"Come in." Splinter called. 

"Master." Leonardo poked his head in. "I'm sorry to bother you, but…" He trailed off, his disappointment getting the better of him. 

"What is it, Leonardo." Splinter asked softly. 

"It… it's Raphael." 

Splinter's eyes widened. "Is he injured…?" He moved to rise. 

"Oh no, master. No." Leo looked down at his feet. "It's… it's just… you should have picked him." He muttered softly. 

"What?" 

Leo looked back up at Splinter. "You should have picked him to be the leader. He wouldn't listen to me, and he really wanted it." He said, his voice stronger, louder now. 

Splinter sat for a moment, then smiled softly. "Come, my son. Join me." 

Leo nodded, then moved to sit beside him on the mat. Splinter moved so that he faced Leonardo, then smiled again. 

"Leonardo. Your personality, your choices are that of a true leader. I have already noticed your brothers looking up to you for answers and guidance." 

Leo shook his head. "But I'm no good! I couldn't even run a practice." He wiped at his eyes furiously. "Next time pick someone else. I don't wanna do it anymore." 

"Leonardo, do you think that being a leader is easy?" Splinter shook his head. "It is never easy." He put a hand on the young boy's shoulder. "But it is your destiny. It is written in your eyes, in your movements. It is in every fiber of your being, it is in your dedication to your art. Did you not like leading the practice?" 

Leo nodded. "Yes, but it wasn't good." He hung his head. "Raph said I stunk, and then he only listened to Mike and Don." 

Splinter smiled slightly at that. "Not everyone listens to their leader. He will. He is testing you." His smile widened. "He has been testing me since he could talk." Splinter paused for a moment before speaking again. "And you, Leonardo, have unconsciously been leading your brothers in practice ever since they began. And, yet, it is only when I place you in the role that you find that you cannot." 

Leonardo lowered his head again, but Splinter put a finger under his chin, lifting it up so that he faced him. 

"You must have confidence, Leonardo. But never over-confidence. If you believe it, you must enforce it. But also be willing to listen to other's opinions, and to change your own. You must have respect for your clan, and make them respect you. Then, you will truly be a great leader." 

"But, what if I mess up again?" 

"Leonardo, no one is perfect. Always remember, if you make a mistake, learn from it. Do not repeat it. It will only make you stronger." 

"But…" Leo began. "But what if they ask me a question, and I don't know the answer?" 

"No one knows everything. If you did, then there would be nothing left to think about." 

Leonardo was silent for a moment, then smiled. "OK. Maybe… Maybe I'll try it again." 

Splinter nodded, smiling. "We shall try it again soon." He paused again before speaking. "And, if you truly do not want to do it, you will not have to. But I believe, in your heart, you will find the strength, the want, to lead. Do not be afraid to let it out. If it is something that you truly want, then it will come, naturally." 

Leo nodded. "Thank you, Master Splinter." He said, and reached over to hug Splinter. Then he got up, turning to leave. 

"Leonardo." 

He turned, and saw Splinter looking at him. "Yes, Master Splinter?" 

"Be confident, Leonardo. Listen to your heart, and, no matter what you do, you will be great." 

****************************

The consoling words of his father ran through his head everyday, all these years later; but never more so than when he was about to give directions to his brothers. Master Splinter had been right. He naturally migrated into the leader role. No, it wasn't always easy; in fact, it rarely was. And sometimes, just sometimes, he regretted being the way he was. He was constantly questioned about his decisions, by the harshest judge of all: himself. 

He had learned to be more confident, with each correct decision he made, each good practice. And his brothers helped. Sure they never agreed on everything, but then, no one does. They were, however, always supportive of him. They followed his orders. Even Raphael. And that scared him, sometimes. A lot of the time. To have them, in their undying trust, following his every word, his every direction. To be responsible for all that. And he'd learned that to be afraid, sometimes, was good. But you had to be able to push it to the side of your mind. To be afraid made you cautious, and think about your next move. But he must not let it be debilitating to his abilities. And his brothers were always there to help with that, too, and that comforted him. 

It was hard to tell the others what to do, when you could hardly convince yourself, sometimes. His sensei's words and support urged him to be confident in himself, but also to listen to the others. He'd learned to take advice from his brothers. They each were talented in different ways. They all had input for dealing with different situations. But the final word still usually fell to him. And he wouldn't always have the answer, and he didn't always make the right decisions. Especially not in those first few years, but he'd learned. 

And he continued learning. 


	4. Raphael

A/N - Again, around eight here. 

I have to say, I really enjoyed writing the guys as youngsters. I might do it again… As for this story, I was thinking of an epilogue, but haven't decided yet. Oh well, hope you enjoy this chapter!

Raphael - Brooding and Brotherhood

Raphael walked out of his room, sulking slightly, but determined not to let anyone see. He'd just spent an hour in his room, as punishment. Master Splinter had heard him saying a bad word to Michaelangelo. A small frown creased his brow at the thought of Splinter. He always caught him, even if it wasn't really his fault. 

__

Well, it wasn't really, this time. He thought to himself. _Mikey **did** ask what the word he'd heard was. _ The thought comforted him a little, and he walked into the kitchen, where Don and Mike were sitting at the table, playing Go-Fish and Leo was washing the dishes. 

"Hey, Raph." Don said, a little too brightly, and Raph saw him look over to Michaelangelo and shrug. 

Mike stood up, biting his lip. "Uh, hey, Raph, look. I'm sorry about earlier. I mean, we didn't know what it meant right? So Master Splinter really shouldn't have…" 

"Yes he should have." 

All three of there heads whipped around to look at Leonardo, who was still calmly washing a plate. 

"What did you say?" Raphael asked, not believing his ears. 

Mike sat back down, and he and Donatello shared a look that clearly said: _Here we go again._

"I said, yes he should have." Leo repeated, still looking at the plate in his hands. 

Mike sighed at this. Don spoke up, his voice timid. "Um, guys? Maybe you shouldn't, you know? I mean, this is what got you into trouble before…" 

"No." Raphael said. "It's what got _me _into trouble before. Don't tell me he punished _you_." He looked at Leo. Sarcasm dripped from his voice. "Not the perfect student. The perfect son." 

"Well, maybe if you'd calm down and practice more instead of always being grounded in your room…" 

"Shut up!" Raph said. He couldn't believe it. 

"Guys…" Don warned. 

"Shut up, Donnie." Raph growled.

"Don't tell him to shut up." Leo said, finally looking over to his brother. 

Mike's eyes widened. Leo must really be ticked about earlier if he was egging Raph on like this. He usually just ignored it. 

"You can't tell me what to do" 

"Why not?" 

Raph growled. "Wait until practice. I'm gonna get you so bad…"

"I'll tell Master Splinter. He'll believe me." 

"You'd tell?!"

"That's right." Leo said, an odd smile on his face. "I'll go and tell _say-say_." 

The words made Raphael go red. His hands made fists, which he held by his side. Leo knew how much he hated that. When they were little, Raphael couldn't say sensei. So he used to call him say-say. And Leo liked to remind him, especially when he really wanted to get under his skin. 

Don whistled low and moved his chair a little bit away from the scene. 

Mike's eyes went even wider, if that was possible. 

Raphael jumped at his brother. Leo's eyes went wide, and he leapt back, dropping the plate he held in the process. 

Don jumped up, followed closely by Mike, but before they could do anything, Splinter entered the room, and looked at the scene before him. 

"What is the meaning of this?" He said quietly. 

"I…" Leonardo started, but Splinter cut him off. 

"Raphael." He said. "Go to your room." 

Raphael's eyes went wide. No way he'd take the blame for this. 

"Master Splinter , I…"

"Now." Splinter said. 

Raphael shut his mouth, his brow creased in a frown. A snarl came onto his face. "I hate you." He said, as he ran past Splinter. 

Don turned to Leo, who had a frown on his face, also. Mike knelt down to pick up the pieces of broken plate that still lay on the ground. 

"Leave it." Splinter said, looking back to where Raphael had just run and sighed. 

Raphael almost blindly ran to his room, slamming the door and jumping onto his bed. _It wasn't fair. _He thought, as tears threatened to run down his face. _Not fair at all. _

He shouldn't be the one in trouble. Leo was the one that had started it. So, he might've overreacted, but still… 

Raph buried his head into his pillow. But it was never Leo's fault. He was too _perfect. _

Maybe that's why Splinter didn't like him. 

The thought of Splinter not liking him had never really entered his mind before. But now that it had… It made sense to him now. As much as it hurt him to realize… It was because Leo was so perfect. And Mike was so funny. No one ever stayed mad at him, not even Raphael. And Don was so smart, Splinter loved that. All Raphael ever did was… cause trouble. They didn't need him. Or probably even like him, for that matter. That's why he was always in trouble…

He turned and stared at the ceiling, fighting back tears of sadness. If they didn't like him, fine. He'd run away. Then they wouldn't have to worry about him anymore. 

He was just planning his escape when the door to his room opened, and Splinter walked in. 

Raphael glared at him. 

"Raphael…" Splinter began, but Raph turned onto his side, away from Splinter. 

Splinter sighed. He moved to sit on the bed. "Raphael…" He put a hand on the boy's shoulder, but Raph moved over, just out if his reach. 

"Go away." Raph said. "Leave me alone."

"I do not want to…" 

"But I want you to." Came the muffled response. 

"Alright." Splinter turned to leave, then stopped, looking back at Raphael. 

"But, if it matters any." Splinter began. "Leonardo has told me the circumstances, and he is being punished for his actions." 

That made Raphael take notice. "What?" He asked softly, sitting up in bed. It was then that Splinter realized how upset the young boy was. He saw the red eyes and the tearstained face. 

"Raphael." He began softly. "Do you want to tell me what Leonardo said that made you so angry?" Splinter sat down softly on the edge of the bed, away from Raphael, giving him his space. 

Raphael turned away again. 

"He… "Raph paused, as if nervous about continuing. "He… said he tell on me to you… and he made fun of me, Master Splinter!" 

"Ah." Splinter said, realizing now why Raphael had acted so harshly. 

"Raphael, it should not bother you, so much when…" 

"But it does! It does Master Splinter. And, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I'm so bad, and that you…" He looked away. "That you don't like me." He said softly. "I'm gonna go and get outta your way, so you guys can train." Tears threatened to fall down his face. 

This shocked Splinter more than anything any of his sons had ever said. 

"Raphael…" Splinter sat back a bit. "I do not hate you." He looked at his son, and was surprised again when he saw tears leaking down his face. Of all his sons Raphael the most hated to cry, especially in front of someone. 

"Raphael, I love you. All of you, equally." 

"Really?" He sniffled. 

"Yes." Splinter smiled. "Maybe I am too quick to punish you, too." He put a hand onto the young turtle's shoulder. "I am sorry then, also. A parent is not perfect, either." 

With that confession, Raphael moved over and put his arms slowly, hesitantly around Splinter. Splinter returned the gesture, and felt Raphael relax a bit. 

They sat for a moment in silence. 

"I don't hate you." Raphael muttered, so softly, that Splinter wasn't even sure he'd heard him. 

"What, my son?" He asked gently. 

"I don't hate you." Raphael repeated. "I don't." 

Splinter smiled at that. "I know." He said, patting Raphael's shoulder gently. "I know you don't." 

"I shouldn't have said it." 

"There are many things we say, or will say that we do not mean. It is only when we truly believe it, truly mean it does it hurt the worst." 

Raphael hung his head. "I say lots of stuff I don't mean."

Splinter smiled. "You will grow out of it. You will learn." 

"What if I don't?" 

"You will. But your brothers and I will always forgive you. They know you care for them. They know it is not true. It may make them angry, but they will always forgive you." 

Raph nodded. "I'll try." He said. 

"Good." Splinter nodded. "So will I." 

"Well then," Splinter stood after a moment. "I think we've all learned a valuable lesson today. So you can come out of your room whenever you are ready to do so." He moved to leave, then turned back and looked back at Raphael. 

"Oh, and Raphael? I had always liked it when you called me say-say." 

****************************************

Now… he tried, he really did. But sometimes his anger did get the best of him. And he did say things that he didn't mean. And now Splinter wasn't there to talk to. And he missed that. 

Sometimes, he actually thought that was why he fought with Leo so much. Leo was so much like Splinter… he resented him for it. He resented that it was Leo with Splinter's words coming out of his mouth. He didn't want to hear it from anyone else but Splinter. But that wasn't all of it. Yeah, they fought for a lot of reasons. But they always made up. Just like Splinter had said. 

He wasn't perfect. He knew that. He swore too much, he said things he didn't mean. He lost his temper too easily. Sometimes he didn't think he belonged. But then, he remembered what Splinter had taught him: that no one was perfect. And he wasn't. But they always forgave him. Splinter had told him that, too. 

He chuckled a bit at that. Splinter had told him that he wasn't perfect, but Raphael would be hard pressed to find a lot of evidence to that claim. 

Raphael looked out at the city, the wind against his body cold from the rooftop he was perched on. This was his city. _Their _city. Splinter had given him so much… he tried hard to make him proud. 

Yes, his anger still got the best of him. But he tried. And he knew it was OK not to be perfect. That they'd still forgive him; that they'd always love him. That he, for all his faults, for all his sarcasm and mean comments, for all of his brash ways and his harsh words, was loved. Splinter made sure he knew and his brothers and friends made sure he remembered. 

Raph grunted, a small smile coming onto his face as he stood. He hated when his thoughts turned all heavy and emotional like that. 

He looked back out over the city before going inside. 

"I miss you, say-say." 


	5. Epilogue

A/N - I have thoroughly enjoyed writing the TMNT as youngsters, and am planning on doing it again. Another brand new story is in the works! Look for it soon. 

Thanks to all those who reviewed this story. I love all you guys. You're awesome! 

But here it is: the epilogue to 'Memories'. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it. 

Epilogue: Sniffles and Stars

__

Years ago… 

Splinter sat down in his armchair. He sighed. He'd finally tended to the last little voice calling for him, and he hoped he'd have a few minutes alone to rest. 

They lived in such tight quarters now, since the turtles were getting bigger, that when one boy got sick, usually they all did. He'd put them all to bed, tucked them in, and wished them good night. Then came the calls for glasses of water, or another tissue. 

Splinter had never dreamed he'd have children; never really thought about it, actually. And now he had four rambunctious four year old boys. 

"Spinder?" A small voice called out. 

Splinter sighed. Speaking of the boys… He got up, and walked into the room that they all were sharing as they got better. 

"Yes, my sons?" He asked. 

Four pairs of big eyes looked back at him. 

"Mikey wanded you." Leonardo said, rubbing his eyes. 

"What is the matter, Michaelangelo?" Splinter kneeled next to the small boy, who was curled up around his teddy bear. 

"By head hurts." He said, looking up at Splinter with round, wide eyes. 

"I dink he has a fever." Donatello said. 

Splinter nodded. "I think you are right, Donatello. One usually gets a fever with a cold." He turned back to Michaelangelo and placed a hand on his forehead. The other three turtles gathered around them. He sighed. Michaelangelo did indeed have a fever. Michaelangelo had been the last to catch this cold. He moved around so much during the day, the illness usually didn't catch up to him until late at night. 

"Id he gonna be OK?" Raphael asked, then wiped his arm across his face. 

"Tissue, Raphael." Splinter chided gently. "I will go and get something for him. I shall return shortly." 

He left to get a washcloth, and ran it under cold water, hoping to relieve Michaelangelo's fever. When he returned, he found they had dragged all of their sheets and pillows to the ground, and were making one large bed. He smiled. They often did this when sick. 

Splinter kneeled next to Michaelangelo, who had moved to the ground. "Here, my son. This will make you feel better." He placed the washcloth on the child's forehead. 

He moved to stand, then felt a small tugging on his robe. He looked to see Leonardo kneeling there, too. 

"Can you stay here, until we fall asleep?" 

Splinter smiled at the anticipated question. He knew he wouldn't be sleeping in his own room tonight. 

"Of course, my son." 

Leo grinned, and got up to grab another blanket. Splinter sat down, making himself comfortable, leaning against a bed. As soon as he was settled, there was a scurry of movement as Michaelangelo dragged his blanket and teddy bear over to Splinter, laying his head on his lap. Splinter laid a hand on his hot little head, and reapplied the washcloth. 

Donatello shyly made his way over and lay down about a foot away. Leonardo followed suit, and eventually, Raphael did, too. Soon, they were all crowded into a small space on the floor. Splinter sat there, listening to the sniffles and coughs as they settled down, and fell asleep. 

He'd never thought he'd have children. Never imagined it. 

He knew there were many more years of this: of sickness and fevers, nightmares and overactive imaginations. Fighting, growing up, questions… Questions that would get harder as they got older. Things he wouldn't know the answer for. 

And he couldn't wait. 

Before, he couldn't even imagine them. Now, he couldn't imagine his life without them. 

************************************************

__

Today… 

"It is beautiful here." Donatello said softly, the wind gently blowing across his face. 

"Yeah." Leo said. "Master Splinter always liked it here." 

"Mmmm" Don agreed, nodding. He sat back on the hill, watching as the sky turned red in the setting sun. 

"We were lucky, you know." Mike spoke up suddenly. 

The rest turned to look at him. 

"We were." He continued. "Splinter was really good to us. And you know we were a handful." He turned and smiled at Raphael. 

"Hey!" 

Leo smiled. "For once, I agree with Mikey." 

"Yeah." Don nodded. 

"Hey, remember when he used to let us all sleep on the floor when we were sick?" Leo asked. "And he'd end up there, too." He grinned. "By morning, we were usually all bunched up into one corner." 

"Yeah." Don smiled. "That was usually Mikey's fault." He looked over as Leo sat down beside him. 

"Yeah, but I always had to ask him." Leo added. 

They sat in silence for a moment. 

"Remember the first time we sparred against each other?" Raphael asked. 

Leo and Mike nodded. 

Don grunted. "Barely." 

Raph looked over at him. "Well, that's because you had your face in the mat most of the time." 

Don shot him a look. "And thank you for bringing that up." 

"Hey, anytime you wanna hear about it…" Raph smirked. 

They all laughed and swapped some more stories as the sun set and it became dark. They began gathering their things to head back home. 

After a moment, Michaelangelo broke the silence. "Do you guys think, you know, that he's… watching over us?" 

There was silence for a moment. 

"Without a doubt." Raphael said, and they all looked over at him. 

Don smiled and flung an arm around Mike's shoulders. "Of course." He said, then added. "And you know how big a lecture Raph'll have waiting for him…" 

"Funny…" 

They chuckled a bit at that, then they turned to the small marker they'd placed for Splinter. 

"Bye, Master Splinter." Mike said. "See you next year." 

They all nodded, then said a few more goodbyes, and began heading down the hill. 

They walked in silence until suddenly, Mike spoke up. 

"Hey, Raph. You remember what you used to call Splinter…?" 

"Mikey…" Raph warned. 

"What was it again?" Mike prodded. "I think it was…" He was cut off by Raph pulling him into a headlock. 

Mike freed himself from Raph and took off down the hill, Raph close on his heels. 

Don looked at Leo and they both grinned as they could hear Mike's laughter, and Raph yelling at him, trying not to laugh. 

Leo looked up at the sky. One of the stars twinkled, almost as if it was winking at him. 

"Yeah." He said softly. "He is definitely watching over us." 

"What?" Don asked. 

Leo turned and looked at him. "I was wondering… think we should help Mike?" 

"Or remind Raph about some of his other childhood habits?" 

"Or…" Leo started. 

"We could do both." They said together, then took off down the hill, meeting their brothers at the bottom. 

Their laughter filled the night air, and, high above them, a star twinkled happily. 


End file.
